Orientation season is winding down, and incoming freshmen are starting to feel the butterflies of venturing off into this new chapter full of possibilities, opportunities, a new environment, and new people. If no one hasn’t warned you by now, attending an historically black college or university (HBCU) is going to be a compilation of some of the best years of your life, both academically and socially, and the individuals you encounter from this point on are going to have a huge influence on how these next 4-5 years go.
Of course, a part of that excitement is all the girls you’ll be exposed to. With that being said, I would like to hip the handsome HBCU rookie men to game of how to impress the ladies. Here’s some tips, told from a woman’s point of view.
Prove that chivalry is not dead.
Being from the South, I wasn’t aware that it wasn’t a common practice to open doors and give up seats for women as signs of respect. When I came to college, I realized that people were simply raised differently than me and probably didn’t know how to be gentlemen, or how to recognize a gentleman. Without expecting things in return (because women can be rude sometimes), be the guy that stands out simply by doing things to show that you have manners and respect.
Just be honest.
The most obvious rule of thumb when trying to impress anyone is to just be honest. Sometimes we tend to go into situations with facades, only to end up in drama we can’t get out of. If you don’t want a relationship, don’t lead anyone to believe otherwise, and if you just want to have fun and explore options, be very clear about that.
Intelligence is very attractive.
Book smarts may have been “lame” in high school, but intelligence is very attractive in college.
We’re all here for the same reason, which is to get an education. Go to class, study, be ambitious, study together. It’s LIT!
Plan creative dates
If there is a girl that you actually like, plan creative dates. Some people are fortunate enough to come to college with loads of money; for most college students, that’s not the case.
However, that doesn’t mean you can’t literally maximize a dollar and have a good time.
Research fun, inexpensive things to do in the area and on campus that would get you closer to getting to know her.
Don’t be a doormat!
Contrary to popular belief, girls really do like genuinely nice guys. It’s okay to be kind and show respect, but never allow people to take advantage of you in the process.
#GentlemanTuesdays
This is a beautiful tradition that began on the campus of the illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University, where young men on campus were encouraged to dress in business attire at least once a week.
I can only hope that this is a “thing” across the board, because any woman can appreciate seeing a man in a suit.
Show off your talents and skills.
How? Get involved!
This can include sports, the arts (music, spoken word, painting, etc.), community service, modeling, and so forth. There are so many amazing opportunities on campus to utilize and expand upon any special gift you may have.
Don’t be shy!
Good hygiene is important.
Although this should be number 1 in the book of common sense, but good hygiene is important. Fresh breath, hints…and I do mean HINTS…of cologne, maintaining a neat appearance, and other general things to take pride in yourself.
- If you are sexually active, always practice safe sex. Use protection and always take advantage of free HIV testing clinics at your respective institution, no matter how “bad” the person is or how much you think you like/love them. Safety is a very important element of good hygiene.
Be able to hold an intelligent conversation.
While being an active listener, not only is communication is key, but it let’s these young women know that you see her beyond just her looks. You made it this far, so obviously you know how to engage in good conversation.
Not everyone is super outgoing and sociable, but in college, you’ll find your groove, eventually.
When the right people come along, you’ll know how to keep the dialogue flowing and interesting.
Be yourself.
The most important thing is to be yourself.
Authenticity wins every single time. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to fit in or impress others.
People will naturally gravitate towards you when you are 100% who you are, even though you’re still trying to figure that out.
Ready for college but not sure what to expect, or even bring? Before you say goodbye to your parents and friends, check out this ultimate guide to surviving your first year in college, and in particular at the country’s 107 historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs). We created the #HBCUFreshmanBible to help build a bridge for students to make a successful transition from high school to black colleges, you can read more here.
